I badly need to see you again. No, I won't try to change
your mind. I just want to make sure that I'm not just pretending to actually
not like you anymore. It's for my selfish intentions.
No, you don't need to like me nor am I asking you to. I feel
bad enough knowing someone I like[d] didn't like me back, but it would make me
feel worse if I kept chasing after that someone. However, I did wish I was that
type of person -- one who persists even after he was rejected.
Promise, I tried my best to keep things cool, keep it casual
like nothing happened. That was your wish, to stay as friends. No matter how
awkward it is, I try to look at you like before -- as a friend. But I still keep
thinking about you, about what we could have been. And I know it is stupid to
think that way. When I catch myself thinking about it, I try to stop
it, honest.
But it doesn't work. I keep giving in because however I look
at it, it was somehow painful. Yes, there was no commitment yet -- maybe there
is a bit from my end -- but I've been meaning to get there somehow. But of
course, I blew off my chance. I guess I just don't know how to make it work.
This song pretty much sums up what I'm feeling and thinking
for the past month.
