Twists and Turns

I recently stopped for a while.

I stopped thinking. I stopped working. I stopped my life.

You know how it feels when you just stop from whatever you are doing and then just breathe deeply? It’s very relaxing, right? It’s very comforting. Being able to breathe deeply every once in a while is good for us especially if we live such infinitely stressful lives.

Having that said, I felt better after whatever emotional and psychological stress I inflicted myself recently. Maybe I was a bit too hasty in deciding about my fate because now I am thinking otherwise. I feel like re-considering the opportunity to take over.

I have a lot of problems ever since I was a kid. I didn’t expose them in public (well, excluding the fact that I blog about some of it) because I didn’t want to seem like a very negative person. Of course, as obvious as it is, I ironically did become a negative person because of that suppression of feelings. I have the tendency to become a very rebellious piece of junk. I am such a pain for almost everyone who gets involved in my messed-up life.

Kapow! And then it hit me, how many stupid times do I use the word I? Thanks to Vincent – even though it is not his intention to respond to my post – I was able to come up with the realization, and finally proved the phrase “the world does not revolve around you” true. I am not the center of the world. It is stupid and very selfish to think that I am the world and everything is about me. Hence, I am going to attempt thinking about others.

I have a duty to make people happy. I have a duty to make a better world for everybody, because this life after all is everybody’s story.

Everyone deserves a break from every little thing they find exhausting. And every time one stops and rests, one gets to think more clearly and ends up with a better decision, a better choice.

Now I have come to the conclusion that yes, I totally admit, I did decide quickly and in a not very good state, but I was able to think things through in a much better state of mind and thus, I say I will take this chance. I am ready for whatever the end will bring and I shall see to it that it will not stop me from re-formatting myself into a person who creates better decisions and thinks about others. I shall stop being selfish and try to do things for others. I would do my best to be considerate; a bit bitchy maybe, but very much considerate and fair.

To everyone who talked to me and reacted on my post, thanks for doing it. I shall try my best to be a very good person when I take over whatever is left for us to do. I shall work well with people and I shall be a better person.

…

P.S.

I wanted to do a public apology though I haven’t got the chance to so yeah, I am sorry to you all. I shall start being a better person and stop being a selfish one. I will work for the welfare of others and be a very good member – in control of my actions. Thanks for everything!