Ellipses (The Doomsday Special)

It finally came. The day that everybody feared. Some call it 122112, or for more drama, the “end of the world”. As for me, I’d like to call it “Doomsday” because it sounds like a holiday of some sort. Personally, I didn’t believe that the world would end today. But I guess there is an itsy-bitsy part of me which kind of believes it. I was eager to have a great day yesterday because I wouldn’t want to be my typical lonely self by the end of the world.

I had lunch with my friend-slash-orgmate together with her boyfriend. It was the day she introduced us to each other since we’ve only been seeing each other through video calls. At least I met someone new before the world ceased to exist. After our lunch I watched a good film, Rurouni Kenshin. Although I was alone, it felt really great to see that film. It was very nostalgic. Certain familiar scenes from the animé flashed in my mind as the movie progresses. I was happy that it was the last movie I watched before the world ends. Finally, I wrapped up my Doomsday Eve with a dinner bonding with my kpop friends. We haven’t been complete on get-togethers for a long time that’s why we took our time together even though some of us still had to go to work today. Dinner was awesome – we were really, and I mean REALLY, full – although dessert was not, but you know, we can’t have it all even if it’s almost the end of the world. Perfection is too fickle to achieve.

We were still together when the clock struck twelve, opening the doors to Doomsday. I was just happy that I did not have to spend this day alone. I guess that time, I felt really grateful for spending the not-really last few minutes of our lives together. At least I know I would end my life happy.

… … …

I woke up with 11 hours gone since Doomsday began. I was alone at home but I wasn’t lonely. I had the most extraordinary Doomsday Eve celebration so I had no worries whatever is to come this day. Even though the weather was weird today (it was warm and sunny then suddenly it rained then it stopped and it was cool and windy in just about three hours) and the moonrise was early (fifteen minutes before three in the afternoon and I can already see the moon clearly) it just dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, the world has ended already and a new world has come.

I might have slept through the end-of-the-world happenings but I guess I woke up to a new world now. Maybe it’s time for us to shift our paradigms and look at things differently. Just like an ellipsis, which may mean an end or a start of something new, Doomsday is just preparing us for a better story plot in this book called Life.

Lonely Celebration

I guess there’s just really a time when everyone who you thought would be there is simply out of reach.

Yesterday, I celebrated the end of my level 1 class in sign language. I came to the ceremony without a guest. Although it was fun, it might have been better if that moment was shared with people other than your classmates and teacher. I got an award for being one of the most active and confident student. It was something to celebrate, right? So to celebrate my recognition, I planned to watch The Avengers at MOA. I waited in line alone. But it would have been a whole lot better watching it with someone who appreciates movies the same way I do.

It was not really bad since this has not been the first time I watched a movie alone. Somehow, it was kind of stress-relieving. What I liked about it the best is that I got a good seat at the upper half of the cinema somewhere in the middle, and the movie was worth the long wait, plus it was cool inside, a nice way to beat the summer heat.

… … …

So probably there are just really moments to celebrate by your own. No need to find company just to enjoy. Yesterday was officially my ‘Happy Alone Day.’ I hope I could do it again next time. Maybe I should start finding reasons to celebrate that.

The ‘Happy’ Before the ‘Birthday’

Birthdays are probably the best celebrations yet. For an individual, it is the best day of his/her life because it commemorates the day he/she was presented to our wonderful world. It is truly a remarkable day, hence, we often attribute the word ‘happy’ before it: Happy Birthday!

… … …

Based on personal experience, I believe that as we grow older, the meaning of birthdays evolve into something much deeper. When I was a kid, I always look forward to my birthday because it means that I will be receiving new toys or clothes, and my family will bring me to an amusement park or a mall to buy stuff I like. That is how I achieve happiness on my birthdays as a child.

There was a time, around high school I think, that going to amusement parks or buying new toys and clothes do not fill my happy-meter anymore. Perhaps I reached a point of maturity or something like that. I felt happier just by spending time with my friends and family. The mere fact that people I know, special people, remember my birthday and celebrate it with me is enough to keep me satisfied. No need for expensive gifts, no need for melodramatic speeches, just the presence of the people I love already fills me with joy and happiness.

Happiness, as a kid, usually equated to the number of gifts we receive. But we soon realize that as we grow older, those toys will soon be left behind as we begin to long for real happiness, that which is satisfied by good relationships and most importantly by love. We become happy because we know we are loved. And perhaps, that’s what really matters most in our pursuit of happiness, whether it be our birthday or just another regular day.

… … …

I would like to greet my grandma, LOLA NITANG, a belated happy birthday! It was her 75^th birthday last January 12 and as a special gift, I prepared this video for her and presented it during her celebration. I love you Lola, we all love you!