Nostalgia Attack

This day was relatively long compared to the other days. I was able to finish a whole anime series today, able to feel the sun, able to check different SNS, and able to exercise (for a change of lifestyle). It was really fun all in all. I was also able to witness another ‘sepia afternoon,’ those afternoons when things seem like in sepia mode of a camera and feels like any moment, the people from the past would pop out of nowhere. :)

So yeah, there weren’t any people of the past, but rather memories of my past showed themselves to me. It was fun remembering those old memories where I still have fun playing outdoors with my friends. Those times when life was still so simple, so easy, so light for a child like me, it felt good to have actually experienced that. As compared to today’s fast-paced and technology-driven world, it would have had a simpler feeling if it was still the same as those times. Don’t get me wrong, I do not hate technology, for without which I wouldn’t be able to share these thoughts to the world, or at least the small world that revolves around me.

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I guess all I’m saying is that I miss those times when we can run free along the roads and play as much as we want outside. Those were the times when we play with other kids whom we don’t even know as if we were best of friends from before. I miss the times when you still learn a lot of things and make new discoveries as every day goes by. It was nice to reminisce those moments when everything new seemed so trivial and amazing in the eyes of mere children who have yet a lot to see in this wide wide world.

I love the fact that I was one of the fortunate kids who had been born in the generation who experienced the best of both worlds: the traditional and the digital eras. I do hope that these *ehem* kids, with whom I was born in the same generation, would also appreciate these little things. I know they are just memories, but I do believe that memories are somehow a part of what constitutes who we are now.

The Bad Guy

Ok, I’ve been trying very hard lately to be a good person. I wanted to have a better relationship with the family I once felt was unappreciative and unnecessary. But I just have had it!

I know I shouldn’t be ranting like this. But there’s no other way for me to sublime this negativity trying to burst out of my insides. What I hate the most is when someone makes me feel unwanted, inferior, and stupid. I already know that so there is definitely no need to rub it in too much, okay?

Excuse me, but please consider yourself first before you judge me. You don’t know me much however you want to pretend you do. In this case, I don’t think blood is thicker than water. I believe you're suffering from what we call ‘hypocrisy.’ I know this word is too harsh, and that I might regret in the future saying it, but yeah, I’m seeing a hypocrite in our midst.

Oh please! Enough with the drama! Nobody’s calling you the kontrabida or the ‘bad guy’ of our lives except you, yourself. Can you not hear what you say and observe what you do? That’s why I just can’t shut my mouth up because I’m hurting. But you don’t know that, do you? Of course not, because you DO NOT know me.

I hate to be like this. I wanted to change. But if the other party involved wouldn’t cooperate, then I have no other choice but to stay the same also. I’m fine with what I was, and I guess not changing anymore would be good for me, too.

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I just have to blurt that out. I’m sorry to my readers (if I have any) for this one big rant of a post. I just don’t want to explode in front of everyone I’m with right now. So yeah, there I go. Breathe in, breathe out.