Ellipses (The Doomsday Special)

It finally came. The day that everybody feared. Some call it 122112, or for more drama, the “end of the world”. As for me, I’d like to call it “Doomsday” because it sounds like a holiday of some sort. Personally, I didn’t believe that the world would end today. But I guess there is an itsy-bitsy part of me which kind of believes it. I was eager to have a great day yesterday because I wouldn’t want to be my typical lonely self by the end of the world.

I had lunch with my friend-slash-orgmate together with her boyfriend. It was the day she introduced us to each other since we’ve only been seeing each other through video calls. At least I met someone new before the world ceased to exist. After our lunch I watched a good film, Rurouni Kenshin. Although I was alone, it felt really great to see that film. It was very nostalgic. Certain familiar scenes from the animé flashed in my mind as the movie progresses. I was happy that it was the last movie I watched before the world ends. Finally, I wrapped up my Doomsday Eve with a dinner bonding with my kpop friends. We haven’t been complete on get-togethers for a long time that’s why we took our time together even though some of us still had to go to work today. Dinner was awesome – we were really, and I mean REALLY, full – although dessert was not, but you know, we can’t have it all even if it’s almost the end of the world. Perfection is too fickle to achieve.

We were still together when the clock struck twelve, opening the doors to Doomsday. I was just happy that I did not have to spend this day alone. I guess that time, I felt really grateful for spending the not-really last few minutes of our lives together. At least I know I would end my life happy.

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I woke up with 11 hours gone since Doomsday began. I was alone at home but I wasn’t lonely. I had the most extraordinary Doomsday Eve celebration so I had no worries whatever is to come this day. Even though the weather was weird today (it was warm and sunny then suddenly it rained then it stopped and it was cool and windy in just about three hours) and the moonrise was early (fifteen minutes before three in the afternoon and I can already see the moon clearly) it just dawned on me that maybe, just maybe, the world has ended already and a new world has come.

I might have slept through the end-of-the-world happenings but I guess I woke up to a new world now. Maybe it’s time for us to shift our paradigms and look at things differently. Just like an ellipsis, which may mean an end or a start of something new, Doomsday is just preparing us for a better story plot in this book called Life.

Lonely Celebration

I guess there’s just really a time when everyone who you thought would be there is simply out of reach.

Yesterday, I celebrated the end of my level 1 class in sign language. I came to the ceremony without a guest. Although it was fun, it might have been better if that moment was shared with people other than your classmates and teacher. I got an award for being one of the most active and confident student. It was something to celebrate, right? So to celebrate my recognition, I planned to watch The Avengers at MOA. I waited in line alone. But it would have been a whole lot better watching it with someone who appreciates movies the same way I do.

It was not really bad since this has not been the first time I watched a movie alone. Somehow, it was kind of stress-relieving. What I liked about it the best is that I got a good seat at the upper half of the cinema somewhere in the middle, and the movie was worth the long wait, plus it was cool inside, a nice way to beat the summer heat.

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So probably there are just really moments to celebrate by your own. No need to find company just to enjoy. Yesterday was officially my ‘Happy Alone Day.’ I hope I could do it again next time. Maybe I should start finding reasons to celebrate that.

Language Unites … and Divides

It is a fact that language emerged as a means of connecting to other people, to communicate. Language is one big factor why we can coordinate well with others, or why we can make better transactions. It created a giant web that connects us all.

We may not be aware of it but language can also divide us. The world is divided by different national languages, and the Philippines is divided by different provincial languages. What’s more interesting is that in each society, there are still certain groups who have their own language, their social dialect or what we call sociolect. It is fascinating to learn how the society that works in communion is somehow divided by a means of communication; a vibrant display of unity in diversity.

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When I was in college, I was exposed in a lot of different social groups. Even amongst the different colleges of the University, one could see how prominent sociolects are. It is some sort of mark or label where one can base his/her verdict in trying to pinpoint whether from which college someone is. One can base a pre-judgment over a person through the sociolect he/she uses. On a negative perspective, it is somewhat like a stereotype. Although, if we look at it closely and observe how it develops, it really shows that certain languages emerge from certain groups within a community which only they can use.

Sociolects seem to create a divide among social groups in a community. But somehow, it is a defining factor of a certain group’s identity. They do not want to be labeled as another so they have to keep an identity of their own, and language can be a big factor in finding that identity.

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I found it very interesting to hear a lot of different social dialects. Engineers use certain words which a communicator like me would interpret differently. Cab drivers have this sort of code which they use when asking for traffic situations in certain areas and in finding out alternative routes. IT experts use a different language in terms of communication, there are certain words which, when said by a typical person, would be entirely different in IT’s perspective.

As a communicator, I am entitled with this privilege to encounter and learn these different sociolects. It is a very interesting job to learn and interpret these languages back to their most basic form.

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Words have always been my companion since I was a kid. I have developed a certain kind of love and faith with words which I can never describe. But all I know is that I will always be grateful to have the ability to learn and understand many different languages, a gift I will improve and forever cherish.

Disconnection Notice

I have to admit it. Recently I haven’t been very active (at least not in the same way as before) in social networking sites. Also, I have been very careful when it comes to tying some new strings. Probably I’m just a bit afraid to expand my network of friends. Or maybe I’m just trying to really be careful of whom to let through my walls. And I believe that one good reason is the blatant display of dislike by some to me.

It is always hard to find a good pearl amidst the vast sea, but to encounter sharks is more likely to happen. Maybe I am starting to learn that this is truly a dog-eat-dog world. Life can only be fair if there are unfair things that happen to you. Nobody is perfect, not even life. So I guess I should not expect to live a perfect life. I just have to stay contented with what I receive and motivated to get through it alive.

One lesson I learned from a very old game called ‘Tetris’ is that we may change the way the pieces go down, but we can never bring them up again. In other words, it is up to us to look for the right spot where we will fit the things that life gives us but we have to learn how to live with it because we can’t give it back anymore. We must be very careful in considering where to place these things so that we will not end up with a mess. If we just let them all come down and not think things through, well I guess it is game over for you.

Honestly I feel very lucky to have found good friends who stuck with me up until now. Hence, I feel afraid to go out there and look for new ones. I am happy with what I have now so why bother look for more? That is why I treat other people in the no-strings-attached mode so that I won’t feel bothered whether they are here or not. However, I found out that it’s not the only thing I have been doing.

It just suddenly hit me. I felt like I needed to detach myself from the whole world. Still figuring out the reason behind it, but apparently I have started the process for a long while now. I barely noticed it happening, but now it is very obvious. I need a time out, a sort of breathing space, away from all of the strings I have kept tightly tangled around me. It’s like finding myself pinned down by tangled chains with the weight of a million whales. It’s simply uncomfortable.

Yet something pulls me back of some sort. What if when I let go of these strings, they would cut loose and I can never bring them back? What if I get used to that new feeling of not being entangled from all of these? There are so many what-if’s that I just can’t seem to put two and two together anymore. I’m lost.

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I am very much looking forward to the holy week break. I better take this chance to meditate and breathe for a while and try to see how I should deal with stuff before it gets too late. There is only one who I can turn to in this kind of situation, and I am hoping He will have answers to un-boggle my mind. If the strings I tied would get cut in the process, I am certain there will always be one which will never break. He will pull me to His side when I get left behind.

Beware, the Baobabs!

“A baobab is something you will never, never be able to get rid of if you attend to it too late.”

Indeed, there are a lot of things we bury in the depths of our minds. Memories we cherish, information we store, knowledge we use, and so on. But what we must never store for a long time are problems. Just like weeds in a garden, problems disrupt the bloom of beautiful memories in our minds. Instead of positive thoughts, we keep thinking of problems – we feed them, water them, and fertilize them – until they grow so big that there is no more space left for any other thoughts. A problem is a certain negative element that we can’t just be lazy about to get rid of. We must be brave enough to face it on the first time we recognize it.

“You must see to it that you pull up regularly all the baobabs, at the very first moment when they can be distinguished from the rose-bushes…”

Problems are constant things. When we solve one, another one might come along. Hence, it requires us to be vigilant in every step we take. A problem might pop right in front of you when you least expect it. So to avoid surprise attacks, always choose to make appropriate decisions. Even though our decisions may not be perfect, as long as they are appropriate in the given situation, we lessen the possibility of incurring problems. Always look forward when decisions are being made so as to prepare ourselves for the coming of the unwanted.

“It is very tedious work, but very easy.”

Of course, facing one’s problem has always been a bumpy ride. There are times that problems can be solved easily – that is, when we instantly apply a solution once it exposes itself – but it would still require some extra effort from us because it is out of the typical work we do. It is especially difficult to solve when we left it untouched in the back of our minds for a long time. But this should not discourage us to face these problems. We must be more inspired to put it on our desk and dissect it to be able to reveal how we can actually defeat it. It might entail a lot of work, but it will surely be something worthwhile.

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A lot of people – or is it safe to say ‘everyone’ – face different problems in their lives. But I was inspired by the book, The Little Prince (where the quotes above came from). The chapter wherein the author compared problems to baobabs, it is where I realized how problems can truly affect one’s thoughts. It would definitely be scary to have problems fill our minds instead of letting the “rose-bushes” or positive thoughts dominate our wonderful garden. This post intends to share to my readers about my insights on problems and how to handle them. I do hope I inspired you the way The Little Prince inspired me, too.

The ‘Happy’ Before the ‘Birthday’

Birthdays are probably the best celebrations yet. For an individual, it is the best day of his/her life because it commemorates the day he/she was presented to our wonderful world. It is truly a remarkable day, hence, we often attribute the word ‘happy’ before it: Happy Birthday!

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Based on personal experience, I believe that as we grow older, the meaning of birthdays evolve into something much deeper. When I was a kid, I always look forward to my birthday because it means that I will be receiving new toys or clothes, and my family will bring me to an amusement park or a mall to buy stuff I like. That is how I achieve happiness on my birthdays as a child.

There was a time, around high school I think, that going to amusement parks or buying new toys and clothes do not fill my happy-meter anymore. Perhaps I reached a point of maturity or something like that. I felt happier just by spending time with my friends and family. The mere fact that people I know, special people, remember my birthday and celebrate it with me is enough to keep me satisfied. No need for expensive gifts, no need for melodramatic speeches, just the presence of the people I love already fills me with joy and happiness.

Happiness, as a kid, usually equated to the number of gifts we receive. But we soon realize that as we grow older, those toys will soon be left behind as we begin to long for real happiness, that which is satisfied by good relationships and most importantly by love. We become happy because we know we are loved. And perhaps, that’s what really matters most in our pursuit of happiness, whether it be our birthday or just another regular day.

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I would like to greet my grandma, LOLA NITANG, a belated happy birthday! It was her 75^th birthday last January 12 and as a special gift, I prepared this video for her and presented it during her celebration. I love you Lola, we all love you!

Barbwires Make Better Fences

It’s not much of a new idea to my ‘readers’ that I am nonconformist. I tend to put social norms aside when it comes to certain stuff. I reckon that these norms might be compared to a dictator: you follow every order he gives and do only what you are told to do.

I do not mean to say that social norms are bad. Probably they were there for a reason. Personally, I think that reason is for people to assess each and every one based on a common denominator. It exists so that a person’s individuality can be comprehensible, and fit into something bigger which will make us realize that we are not really that unique. Social norms keep society intact and yet leave each person mutually exclusive.

Having these norms is like building a fence made up of barbwire around you. It is either good or bad. Whilst having a barbwire fence can keep away external influences to your personality, it also keeps you from moving freely within your own personal space. Conforming to these rules makes us look good from the outside, yet it keeps us struggling from within.

I don’t hate rules. They are there for a reason we may not [want to] understand. But sometimes, we just have to take some risks and break a few of them in order to truly express what we think and feel, and finally free ourselves from the fences built not by our own two hands.