Lonely Celebration

I guess there’s just really a time when everyone who you thought would be there is simply out of reach.

Yesterday, I celebrated the end of my level 1 class in sign language. I came to the ceremony without a guest. Although it was fun, it might have been better if that moment was shared with people other than your classmates and teacher. I got an award for being one of the most active and confident student. It was something to celebrate, right? So to celebrate my recognition, I planned to watch The Avengers at MOA. I waited in line alone. But it would have been a whole lot better watching it with someone who appreciates movies the same way I do.

It was not really bad since this has not been the first time I watched a movie alone. Somehow, it was kind of stress-relieving. What I liked about it the best is that I got a good seat at the upper half of the cinema somewhere in the middle, and the movie was worth the long wait, plus it was cool inside, a nice way to beat the summer heat.

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So probably there are just really moments to celebrate by your own. No need to find company just to enjoy. Yesterday was officially my ‘Happy Alone Day.’ I hope I could do it again next time. Maybe I should start finding reasons to celebrate that.

Language Unites … and Divides

It is a fact that language emerged as a means of connecting to other people, to communicate. Language is one big factor why we can coordinate well with others, or why we can make better transactions. It created a giant web that connects us all.

We may not be aware of it but language can also divide us. The world is divided by different national languages, and the Philippines is divided by different provincial languages. What’s more interesting is that in each society, there are still certain groups who have their own language, their social dialect or what we call sociolect. It is fascinating to learn how the society that works in communion is somehow divided by a means of communication; a vibrant display of unity in diversity.

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When I was in college, I was exposed in a lot of different social groups. Even amongst the different colleges of the University, one could see how prominent sociolects are. It is some sort of mark or label where one can base his/her verdict in trying to pinpoint whether from which college someone is. One can base a pre-judgment over a person through the sociolect he/she uses. On a negative perspective, it is somewhat like a stereotype. Although, if we look at it closely and observe how it develops, it really shows that certain languages emerge from certain groups within a community which only they can use.

Sociolects seem to create a divide among social groups in a community. But somehow, it is a defining factor of a certain group’s identity. They do not want to be labeled as another so they have to keep an identity of their own, and language can be a big factor in finding that identity.

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I found it very interesting to hear a lot of different social dialects. Engineers use certain words which a communicator like me would interpret differently. Cab drivers have this sort of code which they use when asking for traffic situations in certain areas and in finding out alternative routes. IT experts use a different language in terms of communication, there are certain words which, when said by a typical person, would be entirely different in IT’s perspective.

As a communicator, I am entitled with this privilege to encounter and learn these different sociolects. It is a very interesting job to learn and interpret these languages back to their most basic form.

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Words have always been my companion since I was a kid. I have developed a certain kind of love and faith with words which I can never describe. But all I know is that I will always be grateful to have the ability to learn and understand many different languages, a gift I will improve and forever cherish.

Disconnection Notice

I have to admit it. Recently I haven’t been very active (at least not in the same way as before) in social networking sites. Also, I have been very careful when it comes to tying some new strings. Probably I’m just a bit afraid to expand my network of friends. Or maybe I’m just trying to really be careful of whom to let through my walls. And I believe that one good reason is the blatant display of dislike by some to me.

It is always hard to find a good pearl amidst the vast sea, but to encounter sharks is more likely to happen. Maybe I am starting to learn that this is truly a dog-eat-dog world. Life can only be fair if there are unfair things that happen to you. Nobody is perfect, not even life. So I guess I should not expect to live a perfect life. I just have to stay contented with what I receive and motivated to get through it alive.

One lesson I learned from a very old game called ‘Tetris’ is that we may change the way the pieces go down, but we can never bring them up again. In other words, it is up to us to look for the right spot where we will fit the things that life gives us but we have to learn how to live with it because we can’t give it back anymore. We must be very careful in considering where to place these things so that we will not end up with a mess. If we just let them all come down and not think things through, well I guess it is game over for you.

Honestly I feel very lucky to have found good friends who stuck with me up until now. Hence, I feel afraid to go out there and look for new ones. I am happy with what I have now so why bother look for more? That is why I treat other people in the no-strings-attached mode so that I won’t feel bothered whether they are here or not. However, I found out that it’s not the only thing I have been doing.

It just suddenly hit me. I felt like I needed to detach myself from the whole world. Still figuring out the reason behind it, but apparently I have started the process for a long while now. I barely noticed it happening, but now it is very obvious. I need a time out, a sort of breathing space, away from all of the strings I have kept tightly tangled around me. It’s like finding myself pinned down by tangled chains with the weight of a million whales. It’s simply uncomfortable.

Yet something pulls me back of some sort. What if when I let go of these strings, they would cut loose and I can never bring them back? What if I get used to that new feeling of not being entangled from all of these? There are so many what-if’s that I just can’t seem to put two and two together anymore. I’m lost.

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I am very much looking forward to the holy week break. I better take this chance to meditate and breathe for a while and try to see how I should deal with stuff before it gets too late. There is only one who I can turn to in this kind of situation, and I am hoping He will have answers to un-boggle my mind. If the strings I tied would get cut in the process, I am certain there will always be one which will never break. He will pull me to His side when I get left behind.