BABEL

I suppose we are all very familiar with the story of the Tower of Babel. A short re-telling: people wanted to reach God, He decided to divide them by confounding their languages, giving them different tongues; therefore, the tower wasn’t completed.

So what’s that got to do with me? Probably the first thing it has got to do with me is that I’m such a discontented person. I have this petty goal which is to learn five different languages; two Western and three Asian. Of course, I count my own language, Filipino, as one of them and then English. So I only have to learn three more, which I did. Since high school I was self-studying Japanese or Nihongo. When I got in college, I was able to learn basic Français and more Nihongo. Then I was able to find a friend who is from South Korea and taught me how to speak Korean or Hangul. Now by learning these languages I got very interested with the culture of those countries. I like to learn languages but whenever I start to study about them I become interested with the nations’ culture as well. I want to travel to Paris, Tokyo, London, and Seoul. It’s definitely a dream I want to achieve…and maybe I actually can as long as I get the support I need from the people I believe should support me.

Thus, going to my second point; I can’t believe that all the plans for my success is not supported by the ones whom I thought would always do. I’ve always been the kid who follows rules and does what is asked of me but I actually never did anything for myself. All those things I did to be what I am now (or at least until high school) are all for ‘their’ benefit. They are all the things ‘they’ want for me but not what I want for myself. I am not saying that I didn’t want the way they wanted me to be. I’m only saying that I am not given the chance to do what I want and what I know is right for me. It seems to me that I am always a kid through ‘their’ eyes. That’s the down side.

I want to learn how to become independent. Yes I know I still am dependent in terms of financial aspect but the experience of being able to decide for myself, being able to do things freely, being able to learn from my OWN mistakes and not from the mistakes ‘they’ did in their past. Would it not make me a better person if I learn things all on my own? ‘They’ should actually be pushing me up and not tearing me down. How sad it makes me to realize that I shall never learn to live my life without anyone controlling me. I can feel strings tied on me, telling me where to go and what to do. I feel like a Frankenstein of some sort, I have my own life but I do not have my own mind.

Being in control gives you a certain power over things. I would want that power over myself but apparently, ‘they’ have that control. I wish to learn more and improve myself more, but certain practical reasons are what hinder me. It is not that I do not understand ‘them’ but all I ask is for ‘their’ support. By simply knowing that I have ‘them’ on my back I would be confident enough to do the best I can to achieve all those goals in life, just like reaching the heavens through the tower at Babel.

credit for the image: http://zivcg.com/galleries/babylon/index.html