Comfort Me, You Could

WARNING: This is another one of those ‘me’ posts so if you hate to read another post which is ALL about me, then you probably wouldn’t want to read this. (Unless, of course, you’re interested in knowing some intimate stuff about me. Just saying.)

When I’m in my emo moments or when I’m feeling down, it’s just normal for other people to comfort me. But they never realized that they could be doing it wrong. You see, I’m not like your average person who needs a pat on the back every time I cry. Like what I have mentioned in a lot of my older posts, I hate it when other people make me feel inferior, and that’s just exactly how I feel when someone tries to comfort me when I’m sad.

So here are a few ways you could try doing if you want to comfort me…the right way, that is.

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When I seem like I’m spacing out or looking far beyond (I usually do this when there is good scenery) don’t talk to me. You can stay behind me or beside me as long as you’re not too close. Let me be the one to start the conversation. Don’t be the one to start it. I would feel better that way because it makes me feel like you submit yourself to the rules of my world.

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If we’re in a crowd and I seem to be not participating, or not listening, or merely smiling when someone cracks a hilarious joke, just sit beside me. Never try to initiate a conversation. You could probably tap my shoulder lightly, but just sit quietly beside me. Once I notice that someone is beside me who seems to have realized I’m troubled, I tend to stop thinking of my woes. When I start talking or participating in the group, it already means you succeeded in comforting me.

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If you see me crying, never ever hug me nor comfort me with words. That’s the worst you could do in that situation. Simply sit beside me, tap my shoulder lightly or do subtle ways to make me notice your presence. If I start talking, just listen. Don’t answer my questions, at least not all because they’re usually rhetorical. In this kind of situation all I need is a listener. By being a good listener, you make me feel comforted. Once I stop talking and crying, that’s the best time to hug me or wrap an arm on my shoulders. For sure, I wouldn’t mind it by then. I might even be the one to hug you first, or smile at you as thanks.

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Well, these were three of the most common emo moments I undergo. So, for my friends to not be able to wrongly comfort me, please do review these notes carefully. I know I’m a really negative person, but during those times when my negativity exceeds my own limit, please do help me out and bring me back to my normal self. I would treasure that moment when someone could comfort me the right way.

I never really intended to post this but I think it is a must for my friends to know this. I guess I just want to be understood better because I know for a fact that I never really opened up completely to anyone.