That Feeling…

We seldom act based on what we think is right. We usually are impulsive when it comes to our decisions. That is why we easily say things, often bad ones, when we are angry. In the end, we are the ones who would regret them. Which is why we have the saying “think before you speak,” that serves as a reminder to us that saying things when one is in an irrational state only makes matters worse.

… … …

Have you ever felt that certain feeling when your blood suddenly stopped flowing to your fingers when you try to press the send/post button during a virtual conversation? It’s just awkward when that happens because it seems like our own body is telling us to stop what we are about to do. It’s as if our body has its own precautionary mechanism when we tend to act faster than think. But in the end, we do it anyway.

… … …

Why am I writing this post? It’s because of you. How I hate the fact that even though you annoy me, you’re still one of the few people I know I can trust. Please, just stop being so annoying and start acting like I’m someone you know, not someone you would bully for the rest of your life. Just shut the f*k up if you have nothing relevant to say. Stop all these nonsense. I’m trying not to care as much as possible but you are just that person who won’t really stop bugging me, aren’t you? If only you didn’t do that you would’ve been the one to whom I shared my secret because you’re the closest person I know there who would help me out. But then again, you gave me a reason not to. So I just had to tell it to someone else…and be stuck in this state where I am still annoyed at you. Still, I replied to you even though my blood stopped running to my fingers. I patiently waited for your reply. But no. I greeted you the following day, but still nothing. Made me hate you even more. You never really know what a simple reply could do. One word, and it all made the difference. Now I hate you, I really do, but knowing me – someone who never hates the person per se but rather the act done to me – I’m probably just saying this. Just empty words. Because in fact, I don’t hate you at all. I still believe in you, that you are someone I can trust. Best hope my judgment wasn’t wrong.

… … …

There’s this awkward feeling when you get a mini-heart attack after realizing you shouldn’t have done what you did or said what you just said. That is the most annoying feeling in the world because it feels like I’m regretting what I just did or said. Things like that happen when our actions and/or words are faster than our thoughts. Before we thoroughly and carefully think about how to react on certain situations, we just realize in the end that we already reacted. We are really impulsive creatures. We are more instinctive than rational during fight-or-flight situations. I believe we should always be reminded that we have our own limits and we need not let anyone push us beyond that point. Well, unless they want to be slashed by our sword-like words or get an instant black-eye, then just let them be.